I wasn't happy with either of the translations for "Memoria Roja" on this website, so I decided to do my own. Man, what a job! I tried to capture the essence of what Smith was saying -- or what I think he was saying -- without wandering too far from the literal sense (emphasis on the "too"), while trying to maintain the kind of poetic standard that Smith would have upheld. If the result is more pastiche than homage, so be it. Hey, at least it rhymes.

Herewith:

Red Memory

This memory still haunts me from a garden where
The shadow-tinted amaranths, grown redder still,
Front sunset lakes that stain my taut despair
With hues of wine, and sunken embers lie
Like ruby talismans down in your jacinth eyes.

Vermilion splendor drowned the ivied pleasance
Where flowers wept; while from your lips that spilled
The blood drained from a god beyond the cypresses
I drank; my soaring heart rained life, that seemed the essence
Of amber-blooded trees racked on the skies…

Then Night strode down to damp the fire of red
And magic rubies with his ebon blood…
And now in vain I seek that scarlet clarity
In sky and eye…and find but shadowed memory
To stay the slow river of my forgetfulness.

Translation by: Stan North

The rhyme scheme, in case you're interested, is: abacc dbedc ffgge



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12 Jul 05 | 12:34PM by Stan.

Stan Wrote:

> I wasn't happy with either of the translations for
> "Memoria Roja" on this website, so I decided to do
> my own. Man, what a job! I tried to capture the
> essence of what Smith was saying -- or what I
> think he was saying -- without wandering too far
> from the literal sense (emphasis on the "too"),
> while trying to maintain the kind of poetic
> standard that Smith would have upheld. If the
> result is more pastiche than homage, so be it.
> Hey, at least it rhymes.

It does more than that. I can't judge it as a translation but it's a good poem in its own right. The translations already there are a bit literal, but I liked these lines:

Quote:

and rubies, aunk talismans,
In your deep hyacinth eyes.

Aunk Talismans sounds like one of CAS's Hyperborean wizards.

hplscentury Wrote:

> It does more than that. I can't judge it as a
> translation but it's a good poem in its own right.
> The translations already there are a bit literal,
> but I liked these lines:
>
Quote:and rubies, aunk talismans,
> In your deep hyacinth eyes.
>
> Aunk Talismans sounds like one of CAS's
> Hyperborean wizards.


Thanks! I wondered about "aunk talismans" too, until I discovered that the Spanish, hundidos talismanes, means "sunken talismans." So apparently "aunk" is a misprint for "sunk." Too bad -- I was kind of hoping "aunk" was some obscure word CAS picked up from the Oxford English Dictionary.

Right now I'm working on a translation for Las Alquerjas Perdidas, so stay tuned.

As a gift in gratitude, I gave Clark's Spanish textbook to Ron Hilger. It is possible there are pencilled notes within.
Re: misprints -- the bane of all authors, and difficult to remedy. In my personal copies of Clark's works given to me, he himself corrected the typos before he gave anyone a book. If there is a questionable text or concern for a typo, let me know, and I can check my copy, which will be definitive. Clark was meticulous about accuracy, and knew all the typos well, and was chagrined thereby - any gift of words, in his mind, must be as perfect as you can make it.

Actually, I believe "aunk" is a typo that occurred on this website, misprinting Ramon Cabrales' original "sunk." So I don't think it has anything to do with CAS at all.

I don't know why I said I hoped Smith had found "aunk" in the OED. Sorry. I took a nasal decongestant recently...