I've been told in the beginning that I'm telling instead of integrating it into the story. I'm proud of this piece even though its in rough shape. I see nothing wrong with it. What do you all think? Look what CAS had to say "On Fantasy" in the nonfiction section of this site. Not all stories have to be character oriented. Mere characters and their reactions bore me. Maybe I'm a different person, lol.

Alex clutched the gate and grinned, surveying the expanse of sepulchers under the moon light. His partner Eric grabbed a shovel and flash light from the truck, while inspecting their tree choked surroundings for unwanted signs of life. When nothing was found he shut the door and handed Alex the tools.
Both of them robbed graves together for five years. It was a crazed and desperate attempt at finding emotional and psychological excitement in a world they viewed as lacking wonder and excitement.
At first they started at small cemeteries, waiting for the sun to descend, the heavens to grow dark, and a cryptic white moon to rise, followed by the loud clanging of the chain and pad lock on the front gate as the caretaker locked up to go home.
When he was out of sight they'd jump the fence and begin digging. When they reached and opened the casket the stench of rotting flesh grew fierce. At first it overwhelmed them and they'd turn away in disgust. But as the two men glimpsed at the grey scabby and shriveled body inside they forgot the stench and wondered about the person; what they did, what did they believe in, were they good or bad during their life time, before tearing out a tooth, lock of hair, watch or jewel from their body or clothes to keep as a souvenir.
After mastering small cemeteries they graduated to larger ones, visiting such legendary figures as Edgar ALlan Poe and his wife Virginia at the West minister Burial Ground in Baltimore Maryland, H.P. Lovecraft at The Swan Point Cemetery in Providence, Rhode Island, W.W. Pool, rumored to be Richmond, Virginia's first ever vampire, at Hollywood Cemetery in Richmond, Virginia and various priests and witch doctors in the Lafayette Cemetery in New Orleans,known as "The city of the dead"
But the cemetery that interested them the most, Alex imparticular, was Forest Brown in Norfolk, VA. There lied the remains of a mad man shrouded in mystery. His name was Kerwin Wilde.
Kerwin was tall and bony, 30 years of age, with pasty white skin and long black hair. He dwelt alone in a run down cabin in the woods facing Cool Ridge. Cool Ridge was a town that existed a few miles from the cemetery in the 17th century.
Its people feared him. At night they heard chanting in a foreign language coming from his direction and cries which sounded like someone was being tortured. The town priest complained of hearing a slithering in the church yard. The next morning he'd find pieces of bone and flesh strewn about the yard.

First off, the characters and opening are heavily influenced by HPL's "The Hound." Secondly, it feels rushed, so it reads more like a synopsis than an actual story opening. That's about it off-hand.

It certainly reminded me of 'The Hound' as well, but there was not enough written for me to suppose that any influence drawn therefrom was exactly 'heavy'. I agree with the above, however, on it feeling rushed and reading like a synopsis or preface.

It's pretty decent, especially for a 'very rough draft', and I wonder: have you written more?

Please, don't encourage this. This is a forum to discuss Clark Ashton Smith and related subject matter. It is not a forum for amateur writers to post drafts for comment. There are plenty of other Internet forums for that sort of thing.

My apologies! I had assumed that if this topic strictly belonged elsewhere than on this forum, someone would have spoken up much sooner, and I would not have offered my encouragement.

No apologies needed, at least, not to me. I am not the moderator. I was just stating my own opinion/preference about this place.

As I see the matter, it would be a nasty irony, indeed, if a forum devoted to master of the English language were to become a shrine for bad aspiring writers who seek comments on their work. If the moderator feels differently, however, then that is for him to decide.