Holy Outre House Of Gal-Bi:

Frederick J. Mayer

tcho tcho legendary queen seen as ancient egyptian goddess nut

Rather I would believe in a god that sleepth
than the travails of the world
should be the will of a waking providence.
-LIBER IVONIS, Grand Mage Eibon

State of Grace, state of Sin
Inside looking out
This is how it begins
Hunger and Eros with no doubt
Without and Within.

"Queen Zee Rei is to the Tcho-Koreans as Dhan Kun is to the Koreana-Koreans." This was the last line word recorder Mor Jam-dou wrote in the GUMI-GAN-OK CHAEK to properly record in a written enjamberment format a part of the oral history of the venerable, all consummingly consummating Queen Zee Rei of the Tcho Tcho people. It wasn't long after putting all this to a finely laid pulperish substance that the wordsmith mysteriously disappeared, never to be heard or seen again. This is how it should be then.

Dr. Koh Rei-am finished his into "Americanized English" translational transcription of this part of his people's holy of holies tome. Dr. Koh was of the long linage of those of Tcho Tcho descent living for aeons on Tamnaguk (now called Jeju or the "Island of the Gods" and belonging to the country of the Republic of South Korea).

Rei-am closed the pulchritude Book's cover with the same soft strength and solid stability of the little lithe liguescent lizard of blue and black he found one dawn...when he began his awakening after sleeping under a Southern Arizona desert sky. The primordial sun ball was arising after being deposited by the night of Nut's irising orfice, the ancient eons old nightress godess overhead that previously dusk had taken the faux burning golden orb into Her mouth and swallowing to ungulate through her blacken blue jet star studded/celestial body painted nude.

Off the prone doctor's lightly heaving chest cavity area, the reptile sped off with never felt muscular ease...sprung, like a feline's claw nail, from his index finger it came, Rei-am impaled the creature. "Ah, breakfast."

Back in the present state of being, Rei-am then shut the fourth volume of the SEVEN CRYPTICAL BOOKS OF HSAN, where, in chapter eight (8) of it, he had found a corresponding reference to Queen Zee Rei of the Tcho Tcho people.

Leaning back into his reclining ginko wood chair... the same treewood, according to old Korean legend, that when used to make a "bed," allows its sleeper to see/interact with ghosts/spirits and the like and Rei-am's particular armchair was inlaid with polished tephra and blackest of true jade, not to mention, Jeju ostentatious opulent ossified eel bones to highlight its seemingly embossed imagery of his twin gods Llouger and Zhar, in, what some would perceive, unbelieveably obscene tantrical agglutingtion palimpsest of exquiste protoplasmic poses... Rei-am's slitherery slender fingertips turned on his CD player.

On came the cut "African Hastini" from the DARK BUTTERFLY album composed by his friend Joseph Gordon, who many declared this multi-talented American Artist to be "insane." Rei-am wasn't sure about this so-called description, yet the fact was his talented friend was currently residing within the "Quiet ward" of the Anyang Asylum.

As the delivered words accompanied, embraced and caressed by the various primal African musical instruments... "Here in this land of shadows/I sought the final portal"... issued in such aurally beautiful decadent vibrations, there was a vibrant tapping of a single knuckle at Rei-am's door, room, personal sanctuary. Opened, there was Koh Rei-mi.

Ms. Koh Rei-mi was Rei-am's identical twin sister. However, where he basically got most of the Tcho-Tcho side of the family traits, she received the better parts of the Koreana line. For example, Rei-mi stood at 5' 8" in her stocking feet (Rei-am was a nudist at heart, like his ancient ancestors and was usually found in that condition within his sanctuary, as he was now), which was then common for the typical "modern" Korean woman.

Rei-mi thought for moment on this: "True Rei-am is considered short by today's standards by being only 5' 3"... yet, it was only in the last few recent generations, having access to Western dietary elements like wheat, that Koreans started to reach larger and higher physical proportions. Before then, the average Korean was barely 5' or something more around the tall end of the usual Tcho-Tcho height, hence, my brother would be considerd quite tall for either racial group. And, certainly, he cuts a very striking, desirable fiqure of a man!"

She continued in this revelry while standing in Rei-am's odd shaped room diamensionally constructed abode in a position reminiscent of Lauren Becall in that movie where she teaches Bogart how to whistle: "The more I think about it, the more I realize there is much the same about us in the flesh...our eyes are very Tcho Tcho based."

"Like all Tch Tcho throughout time, we have acute night vision, better than the average feline, not to mention, our double eyelids, which no one noticed when I had the operation for them as it is still all the vogue among Asian women today to have the "double eyelid" surgery. They really don't have them, but that is what they call them, Asian eye design, when they ask for such work because they want to look more like the "beautiful" Western female look.

And, the color of our eyes, a scatalogical swirling brown whose iris blooms forth out of it all like the Black Lotus from mud, while having a tinge of argon street light sheen. I simply wear contacts, but Rei-am chooses those glasses than change their darkness level depending upon the available natural light around."

"Rei-mi is there something you want?"

Without a blink of an eye lash, as the saying goes, the sister ejactulated, "You really should do something about that bed of yours."


"It looks like somebody mated the skills of H. R. Giger, Klarkash-ton and Andre Kim to design it."

The ginko tree and Korean fir made the base of the water bed of Rei-am that had a wooden canopy with a tinted or tainted sepia of a squirting cuttlefish mirror above it. Rei-am could never see his self-reflection since he aways removed his glasses when he went onto that bed, but his sister could because she wore the latest in disposable lens.

"I repeat, 'What do you want sis?'"

"You worry me you know"


"All of this translation work you do concerning our holy book and its information into English." Eye balls now in full powerful glare of a feral creature in hunting heat and burning, "There is the curse of the printed word among our ancestors." "How many tales have there been ending with the wordsmith disappearing, never to be seen or heard from again..." "As it should be then"..."Rei-am! It wasn't long ago that happen to one of our relatives in Southeast Asia."

"If you mean the so-called 'Mr. Shuri', he was a blasphemer who, with his small group of followers, worshipped Shub-Niggurath... our High Lama of Leng doesn't even allow his name to be remembered!...and to sell our knowledge of the Elder Gods for personal gain!...I do it so our relatives who can't read the original language, like those living in San Francisco whose own priests can't read it or haven't memorized the needed parts of the varied and various parts of the text, can get our culture and blessed knowledge, sort of what Martin Luther did back in old Europe."

Rei-am removed the Dark Butterfly disk just as the lines, "Doesn't matter/Death doesn't care/The body is used just the same...." of the material called "Of Lovers Of" bounced in a perky tune and tonal quality. The ZHAR recording from China replaced it and as the doctor of quantitative analysis gingerly selected the PAPYRUS OF THE DARK WISDOM and his well worn copy of ERGODIC THEORY AND TOPOLOGICAL DYNAMICS OF GROUP ACTIONS ON HOMGENEOUS SPACES by M.J. Caton (Rei-am was one of the current generation of Koreans that had some Tcho Tcho hertiage who belived that their "gods" best chance of completely being freed was through science not rituals that had no connection to a logical reason for doing something).

"Let him be destoryed in his leap by those unnameable,
unutterable and innumerable things; there will come other
more horrible workers; they will begin at the horizons...."
    -Arthur Rimbaud

The sogum (like a very small clarinet) and the piri (flute like instrument) sounds pierced the air into the eardrums like a white hot acupuncture thin needle and a shrill voice common to the beginnings of the commencement of the "Praise Chant For The Black Lotus" sang, "Carnal knowledge of spirituality/paroxysm succour...releasing the soul of vibrations/on sinews, of muscles engorged...." It was Mother Rei preparing for the Lunar New Year feast.

Rei-am paused, smiled and was about to continue when Rei-mi stopped him. "Brother, I really do need your help on this other matter I mentioned yesterday."

" As I recall, R'lyeh is sending one of the Deep Ones, an elder of the group, here."


"Something about establishing one of their idiotic 'Esoteric Order of Dagon' centers on Jeju. The Deep Ones, followers of Dagon, who, in my opinion really blew when it came to inter-species reproduction and gene sharing, so much so, their own elder leaders cannot appear in "human" public they are so replusive...great public relations job there... are they now just realizing that if we all are going to release all of our respective gods to successfully regain our dieties', beings to be worshipped, rightful place on this planet, there needs to be some sort of intrasturcture put into place?"

"No. They need our help to establish an EOD on our island."

"Why? The last I recalled the R.O.K. government had a quite liberal policy toward the establishment of, for lack of a better word or two, spiritual centers whose origins are not based in Korea."

"It still does, however, the current governor of Jeju is, quietly, a strong supporter of the old ways of Tcho Tcho heritage and considers Dagon and company to be a outrageous blasphemy against our twin gods of Lloiger and Zhar, those who gave life to our star spawn beyond Time ago...and, he fears Lloigor will let him personally know, especially, if Cthulhu maintains his connection to Dagon..."

"Cthulhu is not our leader and never has been...at best, he is just another member of those who came before and happens to have a bit more muscle power, though not much upstairs, if you know what I mean."

The wailing cries of a dog being burned alive after being electrically prodded and being hung up on a tree...maintains its health giving powers and sexual prowlness that way...Ma Rei, though having a Masters in Economics from an internationally respected American university, first and foremost sees herself as a premiere chief and she is going all out this time for this holiday feasting because of the expected arrival of very special "guest." The chant goes on with a Yong-go (large drum) picking up the pounding that re-creates the bursting of a overdriven heart..."crucified dog, lick it/serpentine of the tongue, nipples/the eggs which must be sucked/to draw the dragon out...."

"The Deep Ones maintain we, the Tcho Tcho (just as all Koreans in general eventually will) must serve them and Dagon in their wishes ...we are still savages compared to the great civilization developed in R'lyeh...long before we 'climbed out of the mountains' of Central Asia.'" "Plus," Rei-mi went on coldly, "those of R'lyeh descent claim a superior relationship to us because of some past connection between Zhar, Dagon and Hydra."

"Which sank."

"But, why do you need me? You, my dear Rei-mi are the big political powerhouse in this family, on the island, even on mainland Korea.You ranked first at Seoul National University, one a the very few females and from the backwater, backwards village minded Jejuites..."

"You could of done the same, except that damn photographic memory of yours made you lazy...hence, taking only a fourth place at the same leading Korean university, before leaving for other parts of the world...."

"Maybe, my sweet, but SNU is the place for the law and politically minded, if they want to succeed in ROK...and, you were even elected this Island's mainland Assembly representative, selected to be part of the nation's team at the United nations, not to mention, being picked to be part of then President Kim's translation team when he was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. You are the proven diplomat in this family."

" Yet, he/she/it wants to meet with you...besides, you actually understand that gibberish they call a language! Not to mention, Mother believes that because this Deep One comes as an elder of R'lyeh, he must have been raised with refinement and excellent taste."

"Alright, but that Deep One must be part of mother's banquet. We are still "Koreans", as people from other heritages when they become citizens of the United States become 'Americans.' The Lunar New Year's celebrations are extremely important to us. Make sure that Deep One enters through the underwater entranceway located under Yongduam ("Dragon Head Rock") ...over and above the fact, it's not far from the lava tunnels where they used to sacrifice 15 and 16 year old virgin girls to a "giant snake" found within them (actually, the a dragon-like creature was a "Zee Goe-mool" created through the "necromantic/neuromantic mysterieuses" sacred sexual rituals conducted between our Grand Queen Zee Rei and protoplasmical exertions of both the andante ungulations of certain Tcho Tchos and seething amphormorphic excretional, partial and whole, shapeshiftings of Lloigor and Zhar within certain volcanic lakes. Of course. such rites are forbidden to all now and the sacrifices were "officially" ended in the 1500's when the Japanese were invading the future nation of Korea.)...

"...It's also the only main route to the 'Holy Outre House of Gal-bi.'"

"There is no exquiste beauty...without some strangeness in the proportions." -Edgar A. Poe

The sublunary visions passed the lustrrum of my life and the delicatable sights, scents, smells and odors danced in patterns of those striving to get out of their eggs... caviar of every nature and size were presented in hues of the Kimnyong beach caves of Manjanggrill and looking like the "eyes" which glance from inside them under the starry heavens of Nut...live giant prawns strove for freedom from their meal bowls with speed quicker than a flowing relief, only to realise beyond the table reef end was only another death. OH, these wonderful creatures and living fresh octopi are true Jeju delicacies...quick, eat them before they are dead!

"Sister, do you know what they still call our ancient people of yore?"


"Yes...but, we never just ate our 'own kind'. As our name means in our own language, ' The people who eat anything.' And, tonight, Mama Rei, you truly out did yourself with those side dishes and varied and numerous sauces. Anyone who was part of this glorious repast would be gastrically sated and filled, not to mentioned honored as it should be in our fine tradition!"

Mother Koh Rei-oh hid her toothy smile with her elegant hand before her face and asked calmly, "Is it true that in America they eat cow brains?"

"They used to...they even called fish "brain food."

"The fish brain slices were so cleverly played out as if they were mere noodles with delightful red kimchi and of touches of the Agaricus Mascarius mushrooms...a gourmet's dream come true tonight...."

"The Deep Ones officials at R'lyeh claim since their representative was sent to Jeju, they haven't seen or heard from him again..."

"It is as it should be then..."

" I suppose...You think he will return in some form or fashion, don't you brother?"

"Looking up at the grandure that is the ancient Egyptian goddess Nut and Her internal/eternal moves behind such a sky, I can truly understand why our revered Great Holy Lama of legend was so amoured with the goddess...and, yes to your question, dearest sister."

There came the soulful, sonorous sounds of the music of the spheres released in melodious dual harmony: FART!

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