I am posting here far too frequently, I realize, but these are unusually interesting discussions, to me.
Quote:romanticism (exploited to its maximum during the 1800s)
I respectfully disagree. It's impossible to prove or disprove, of course, but I think that individuals in the West after 1900 have displayed
far more unrealistic expectations about romance than their immediate predecessors, the Romantic movement notwithstanding. (Of course, one might blame the Romantics for laying the foundation for this).
As for CAS and his perspective on women and romance: My view, based upon what I know of his life (relatively little), is that he was scarred emotionally by a tragic relationship that he had in his early years. Very little has been made public about this relationship, to my knowledge.
I also do not think that CAS's inability to be a "good provider" had anything to do with his failure to have children and to marry earlier than he did. In part because of a later coarsening of temperament based upon "Experience", in Blake's sense of that term (some call this "maturity"), and in part as a reaction to this past traumatic relationship, CAS developed a rakish and cynical view of romance in real life (as opposed to in poetry), and he specifically chose married women as partners precisely
because there was no chance that the relationship would offer long-term entanglements. It's a little sad reading the letters to George Sterling in which the younger CAS seems to make pathetic attempts to impress Sterling by going the latter one better in rakishness. Even relatively late in life, this pattern of forming infatuations only with married women seemed to persist. Personal preference, or sour grapes? Who knows?
Of course, Scott Connors, and perhaps Calonlan, knows far more about this matter than most anyone here, myself included, so their comments and corrections would be pertinent and welcome.
On a personal level, I certainly agree that hormones make fools of us when we are young, albeit some of us more than others. The poet Shelley seems to have understood this (although he handled romance perhaps worst than most) when he wrote (paraphrased from memory), "I think one is always in love with some thing or other. The error consists in seeking in a mortal image the likeness of which is perhaps eternal". Although, being neither a Platonist nor a believer in some Idealistic "eternity", I would quibble with Shelley's language, I basically agree with the poet, and I would add that the energies that go into youthful romantic love would be far better channeled in other directions. If it weren't for the "need" (also grossly overstated) to reproduce, I would say that we should all have our first serious romantic relationship only after the age of forty!
P.S. For O'Connor's benefit, it might be worthwhile to quote CAS's advice on how to handle women from his letter to Donald Wandrei. On the other hand, it would no doubt raise the ire of the few (it seems) women who read and post here! Lol.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 14 Aug 09 | 04:01PM by Kyberean.