IMAGINE... in Faustine's gilded pleasure-barge gliding down the Amazon in the palæolithic with Krafft-Ebbing at the tiller... an absinthe-sipping Dowson amanuensing an opium-smoking Huysmans paraphrasing a cocaïna-injecting Firbank translating a palimpsestic Syriac edition of the gnostic Gospel of Elagabalus studded in smaragds from Akhenaten's tomb and bound in the breast-skin of La Morte Amoureuse... while Antinoüs anilingues Firbank, Faustine fellates Huysmans, and Delilah dillies Dowson with a strap-on succedaneum of rune-inscribed mastodon-ivory lubricated with the hallucinogenic oil of an anthropophagous orchid from the revenant-haunted jungle of an unknown amethyst moon of Saturn... to the musical accompaniment of a zombie Crowley playing, on a silver-sheathed flute fashioned from the left femur of Cleopatra, Corelli's transcription of Throbbing Gristle's cover of a lost collaboration between Wagner, Dzagdashvili, and Wi(3)-Leu(1)...
Though manifestly well-wordsmythed--the above would be completely incomprehensible to the average reader (I only half understand it myself), and therefore has no use as a tool for trying to explain to someone what CAS is like--which is supposed, in thoery, to be the purpose. However--not a bad parody...even if it is overtly sexual....
Absquatch Wrote:
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> Not that this was a contest (though that might
> have been amusing, too), but ladies and gentlemen,
> I think we have a winner....
K_A_Opperman Wrote:
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> Though manifestly well-wordsmythed--the above
> would be completely incomprehensible to the
> average reader (I only half understand it myself),
> and therefore has no use as a tool for trying to
> explain to someone what CAS is like--which is
> supposed, in thoery, to be the purpose.
> However--not a bad parody...even if it is overtly
> sexual....
Yeah, I think the sex did spoil it a tad, but the 'succedaneum' riff still reads ok.
BTW -- don't anyone let hermself be dillied like that. Serious health issues may ensue. And you WILL spill your absinthe.
Absquatch Wrote:
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> Agreed, pithier is better, but treycelement's
> contribution is so over the top that it merits its
> own separate recognition.
Originally, I tried to include ALL the (main) senses... But I decided it went 222 far. Here's a restored, re-tweaked version, sans sex (nearly):
IMAGINE... in Faustine's gilded pleasure-barge gliding down the Amazon in the palæolithic with Krafft-Ebbing at the tiller... an absinthe-sipping Dowson amanuensing an opium-smoking Huysmans paraphrasing a cocaïna-injecting Firbank translating a palimpsetic Syriac ms. of the gnostic Gospel of Elagabalus bound in the breast-skin of La Morte Amoureuse and studded with smaragds from Akhenaten's tomb... to the musical accompaniment of a zombie Crowley playing, on a silver-sheathed flute fashioned from the left femur of Cleopatra, Corelli's transcription of Throbbing Gristle's cover of a lost collaboration between Wagner, Dzagdashvili, and Wi(3)-Leu(1)... as the essential oils of mandrake, blood-lily, and aconitum fume from a nyctaloptic nigromancer's anaglyptographic alembic... under a ceiling painted in lapis lazuli, molten ruby, and dryad's-coynte-juice by Michelangelo, Delville, and the resurrected maîtres of Lascaux.....
Sir treycelement, on behalf of the Board of Censors, there is one grievous offence in your new version which I cannot overlook...one thing which, I think, may seriously offend some people--this "pleasure barge" business! Just what sort of unwholesome activities go on in that barge? These implications are a danger to the public.
However, the Board is pleased to report that it sees no other offensive content. There were some words whose definitions we were unable to discover--but we have faith in your morality, sir, and will trust that there is no more overtly sexual contet buried within your recondite vocabulary--especially toward the end, where art--generally a wholesome practice--dominates the coyntent--excuse me--content.
A free 'postpone being sacrificed to the Voorqual for one day' card; a vacation to the Isle of the Tortures, complete with the full torture package; an amphora full of aconite-laced Hyperborian hydromel; a date with the enchantress of Sylaire--in a room made of mirrors; a geas-reflecting helmet--constructed from a certain turban-like thing from Yoh Vombis; a free one week necromancy course with Nathaire, Avyctes, or Malygris--your choice, or course....
Or, do you want to go for the BIG prize? It's hidden in the maze of Maal Dweb, surrounded by certain flowers....
EMPERORS OF DREAMS: SOME NOTES ON WEIRD POETRY Includes essays on the weird verse of George Sterling, Clark Ashton Smith, H.P. Lovecraft, Samuel Loveman, Donald Wandrei, Frank Belknap Long For purchase, contact P'rea Press, email: DannyL58@hotmail.com